...Blathering electronic cake-hole

 

Q:Why does my life suck so bad?
A: Your life is unsatisfying because you have not benefited from the enlightenment found in the pages of Rat Blood Soup. Order a Rat Blood Soup asap, and put an end to your suffering.

Q: Can Rat Blood Soup give me AIDS?
A: Yes. If while reading the zine you begin hyperventilating and pass out, and someone present who is himself infected decides to take advantage of your compromised state, having sex with you against your will, yes, you could get AIDS.

Q: I’m just an average guy. Would I enjoy reading Rat Blood Soup?
A: Probably not. The average person is practically a moron, and if you are as you say “average,” there is little chance you would be able to understand, let alone benefit from or enjoy the zine. If you were even slightly above average, there is always the possibility you could grasp the zine and be catapulted in to the high-octane mental world of Rat Blood Soup.

Q: Why does a dog lick his nuts?
Q: Because he knows he will be licking your face in five minutes.

Q: Isn’t religion inseparable from morality?
A: Religion has almost nothing to do with morality. The fact that you ask this question shows you have a long way to go.

Q: How come I despise people so much? Everywhere you turn they are bullying you, prying into your business, or trying to force some stupid belief on you. They can have no brains at all and at the same time have a salary that is four times your own. They can get incredibly upset over meaningless things while remaining oblivious to the most glaring problems of everyday life. I can barely hide my disdain for all of them. Also, the weight of existence itself has made literally everything seem pointless. It is like a lead rug has been thrown over me and I crawl and crawl but cannot find the edge to get out from beneath it. What’s the deal with that?
A: Your free subscription is in the mail!

 

 

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